4/3/13
After recently reading a blog post
from a missionary in Asia saying goodbye as she is leaving, I am led to reflect
on my current state. Does saying Good Bye really get easier the more
transitions you face? At least this time I am apart of a community that is
familiar with saying Goodbye. Not that is makes it any easier, when one of your
closest friends replies to you telling her the news, “I knew it…. I am used to
people coming and going.”
I have known now for 2 months that
I would be moving back to the USA at the end of the school year, and since then
have been struggling with the balance of planning for the future, and living
for today. It hit me this weekend, while packing my 2nd bag to send
back early with a fellow missionary, I had to make the choice of giving up some
items that I was planning on taking back with me. I had to re-sort all of the
teaching resources I was wishing to take back with me, and give some up because
of the amount of weight they took up. In doing this, reality hit. Teaching kids
is what I have known for the past 6 years, the past two years at a missionary
school in Hungary. Now I am hanging up my teaching shoes to pursue working with
Campus Ministry, a totally different age group, AND returning to live in the
United States. This transition is so different than the 5 other ones I have
been through since I graduated college.
I think this transition I really
have to learn how to give up ‘my’ plans. I didn't realize this until writing
this blog, but I see God working on my in learning how to give up things. At
first I did a really good job of having an open hand, but I think as it gets
closer to my leaving date I am wanting to control the chaos of transition with
attempting to cling to areas that I think I have control of my life. Stepping back though, I need to seek God and
not control in the midst of the chaos. We all know that in seeking God wholeheartedly means that I first must give up my plans, well I am going to work on
it.
Please be praying with me during
this time of transition.
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